I’d like a new future now.

“No one in the Republican Party or anyone in society accepts what he said,” Patrick said. “He apologized, you move on. The future of the country is at stake.”

I’ve never been quite clear on what exactly TX Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick (nee Dannie Goeb) believes. he seems to change his demeanor depending on what the polls and press are saying about him. the only time I’ve perceived a genuine side to the man is when he was talking about his “special tie” all day on his birthday in 2013. so I don’t know if he believes this garbage. but let’s pick through to see what we missed when we switched channels to listen to Trump’s victims as it shows what happens when piety supplants service.

    1. the Trump campaign likes to brag about having such YOOOGE crowds that they have to turn people away. but Goebstopper does a FUNNY THING here: he doesn’t say they had to turn people away because there were too many of them. he says that they had to turn people away because they hadn’t been vetted by the Secret Service.
    2. “…and he was very clear about that. He’s standing with Republicans, with down ballot Republicans.” really? I mean, REALLY? I suspect that he doesn’t believe this applies anyone who didn’t jump on the party line to fellate him after the debate. I get that this was filmed in the afternoon and not aired until 7 pm–right around the time 4 women came forward confirming that he groped them. Goebbler may understand his duty to his party, but I’m pretty sure the numpty doesn’t and wasn’t clear about it at all.
    3. Texas is known for sending its Democratic organizers out of state, too.
    4. Goebtron “don’t know much about” TX CD-23? I would think that the district that flips every election cycle would be of great interest to someone in his position. not only that, but, given how much shit he talks about the border, I would also think he would take some interest in most of it.
    5. here’s a major difference in public policy for you: one campaign knows sexual assault is an issue, knows it is more than one issue. Goebber’s party thinks it’s only talked about  “to distract from the real issues affecting the American people“. I don’t know if they think the people aren’t real, the issue isn’t real, that it’s an issue not affecting Americans or what. but they might want to check for dangling modifiers in any future statements.
    6. I don’t like a lot of the things I hear at the lege. should I walk away from it? no. because that’s not how things change. he’s a statewide office holder and to protect his virgin ears rather than being enough of a leader to say, “hey, guys! how ’bout we not be raging assholes?!” is a dereliction of duty.
    7. not to mention that there’s still a difference between talking about your attraction to someone and bragging about being able to do the sexual assaults because: look, ma! Imma BIGLY STAR!
    8. he wants to complain about the border. what was that he was just saying about TX CD-23? “I don’t know much about it.”
    9. “she said in the debate that she’d like to overturn some past decisions…” could mean, in context since he was talking about the ABORTION, the Hyde Amendment–which as far as I know she didn’t say in either of her debates against the weapons grade plum and is also not a SCOTUS decision. but it could also mean, in the context of what she has said in all of the debates, Citizens United which 80% of Republicans would also like overturned. so either way, he’s not even wrong.
    10. Obamacare is not the reason insurance costs are about to go up in Texas. it’s because we are about to lose a good portion of our 1115 waiver funding because we did not accept Medicaid expansion and the feds are simply tired of paying more for uncompensated care at hospitals which could be avoided if they could pay for primary care instead. part of UC is paid for by insurance companies. that’s why. but, sure, both sides duet!
    11. when we’re talking about the future of our state and country, we should be addressing things which have long-term affects. I would personally like to know whose future or what future Goeblin is talking about here. if it’s anything like this: NO MEANS NO, THANK YOU!
    12. it is about a much bigger issue because it wasn’t just language. and if he really cared more about reducing the number of abortions in this state than hearing himself talk about it, he’d understand that.
    13. another border reference, another: what was that he was just saying about TX CD-23 ? “I don’t know much about it.”
    14. it’s not about “won’t stand up and back up our police”, it about standing up for everyone and that includes giving the police the tools and training they need to do their jobs without shooting unarmed POCs all the time. it is also about addressing gun violence. all Goeblette wants to do is give them rifle resistant vests while punishing universities for setting aside funding for scholarships.
    15. here’s a hypothetical. could Goebbledygook support a ludicrous tangerine ballbag if it did that? I guess it would depend on the person it shot.
    16. it’s like he saw this and decided to identify as colorblind all of a sudden.
    17. again, totally not about the “crass language” that burns Goebsmacked’s precious ears when he should be a leader rather than an alter boy.  get that Lite Guv a hat! and rear view mirror? 4 of these stories broke as the episode was aired.


this is not to say it’s all Lt. Gov. Patrick’s fault. but it is exemplary, if not informative. and he should be a leader instead of playing king. now let’s all scrub our brains with Samatha Bee and David Tennant.



3 thoughts on “I’d like a new future now.

  1. […] SBOE Member Thomas Ratliff who’s daddy literally wrote the law on open enrollment charter schools, had Thomas and his brothers memorize every edition of A Nation At Risk from an early age, and managed to scare the bajeezus out of WaPo when he was chosen as the chair of the SBOE last year, but that’s only because they didn’t notice that the whole family did an about-face on school vouchers in 2007. he shared his DropBox account with everyone so that we can all read how terrible school vouchers are and I don’t have to summarize his testimony. account: thomas@thomasratliff.com password: pokethebear (I assume the bear he’s poking has a name that rhymes with “Manny Robe“.) […]


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